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For Widows Only - 5 Donts To Remember When Living Life After Burying Him
By admin | March 30, 2008
Your husband is dead, perhaps one month, perhaps one year, perhaps one hundred years. Ask nine widows, Do you miss Him?, and you will hear nine yeses, regardless the length of time He is gone.
You betcha!
So what is a widow to do? It is not easy getting through the grief process, and knowing you must walk the grief journey alone is difficult at best. But I am here to tell you everything will be all right. You will get through your tunnel of grief, because I have 5 don’ts for you to remember when living life after burying Him.
Here they are:
#1 Don’t.
Don’t think that you must move on now that He’s dead and buried. Move on implies that you are leaving Him and your precious memories. Move on may make you feel less comfortable with what has happened in your life. Or, stall and lengthen your grief process. Try thinking move forward, instead. Move forward suggests He is tucked gently carefully blessedly in a safe place, i.e., your heart, Heaven, the New Frontier, and that He is available for you to call upon again and again in times of need.
#2 Don’t.
Don’t think you must do whatever it is He would want you to do when faced with any decision regarding the rest of your life. Begin this moment, this second thinking a new thought–think, I will do what I think is best for me–instead. This will teach you to think for yourself, restore your confidence and independence. As Martha Stewart says, “It’s a good thing.”
#3 Don’t.
Don’t think you must forget about Him and all your golden memories in order to survive. As Pussy, that Soprano’s character on Cable TV fame says, “Faggeddaboudit.” It is time for a new thought: Think, I will love Him forever, instead. Because when someone dies, the love we have for that person doesn’t.
#4 Don’t.
Don’t deny yourself, dear widow, the pleasure of His thoughtful company–Each morning when you awaken, each evening before you turn out the light, each day as you go about your daily routine–It will only make you feel worse.
#5 Don’t.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and touch someone when feeling sad and lonely. Join a bereavement group; contact a grief counselor, call a friend, get on line, email a buddy, go to synagogue, attend a church service. Join a community. Getting out of the house, meeting new people, making new friends will help establish you in your new life without Him. And in time, you will evolve to be the best you can be. This is your time now, dear widow. It is time for Part II.
I know it is not easy getting on with the rest of your life without Him by your side. But I am here to remind you, you can and you will get through the grief process. Just follow my 5 don’ts outlined above, and before you know it, you will be one giant baby step forward with the best of your life.
You have permission to contact Linda Della Donna at littleredmailbox@aol.com and request a copy of her free ebook, “Treasury of Quotations” or donate to Walk With Karen fund honoring hospice nurse, Karen Doty. Learn more about Della Donna by reading her blog, http://www.griefcase.blogspot.com
Tags: alone, bereavement, bury, crying, depressed, funeral, Grief, lonely, miserable, sad, sorrow, sorry, tears, widow
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